Earlier today my friend introduced me to Hyperbole and a Half, a hilarious site written by a creative geen-yus named Allie. Tonight after B fell asleep and I was supposed to be applying for jobs, I wandered back to Allie’s blog. And I remained there for *checking clock* about two hours, reading and laughing and picking my nose and reading and laughing some more while I wasted time. Allie is awesome, and not just because she makes me feel better for the fact that as a little girl–OK, until I was nine–I was more interested in dinosaurs than Barbie dolls.

Sometime after midnight I decided to call it quits. I was closing down my computer when I decided I’d make one more round of all the news sites before bed. (Because I’d rather have well-informed dreams tonight, why else?) Fox News caught my attention as they often do with their zany headlines, and the thought train was immediately derailed as I giggled at the biggest headline on the page:

Cross Your Fingers: 100-Ton Box Lowered Onto Oil Leak

Then I opened the full article and read the second headline:

Giant Box Lowered in Gulf to Capture Oil Leak

After I stopped giggling I read the article summary just to find out what the hell those crazy scientists are up to down there in the gulf. Long story short, a big metal box-like device is being lowered into the ocean in an attempt to capture the oil from the recent off-coast spill. Some scientists got together and built this contraption that will hopefully suck up most of the oil so it can be piped into a tanker and hauled away.

I’m kind of a language chameleon and I have a knack for becoming what I read. I tend to soak up writing styles like a sponge (or shall we say “an oil-consuming box”?), and I often unknowingly regurgitate them later. So tonight after reading Allie’s blog for two hours, when I saw Fox’s headline my brain skipped right over the large image of a metal contraption floating in the water and went straight to this:

And then to this:

Update: This morning the headline reads:

Giant Box Close to Being Over Oil-Spewing Well

So now I’m imagining a bunch of scientists crowded aboard a ship, quietly clapping like golf fans as their cardboard friend swims its way over to the oil rig. “Go box, go!!! You can do it, box!!! We have faith in the absorption powers of your corrugated walls!”


4 thoughts on “GIANT BOX SAVES WORLD!!!

    1. stocktoc

      Fortunately for you guys, when I’m halfway delirious I tend more toward childish references than innuendo-laden ones. Not to mention the fact that I was already 25 years old before my husband explained to me that “box” has an, alternate, meaning. (I heard it on TV and sat there looking puzzled while he laughed at the joke.)


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