Mom (to me): What kind of cake would you like me to make for your birthday?
Dad: Cake? You don’t want cake for your birthday! Ask for pie instead! It’s more American. It won’t make your ass the size of a barn door because its got fruit and good things, and cake is just empty starch and sugar. I bet if Marie Antoinette had said, ‘let them eat pie,’ she’d have kept her head. Pie is just better.
C: Mommy, I think daddy is asking for you to make him a pie.