Synonyms

This morning, after an extended session of whining and general stir-craziness we directed the kid to go play on the back porch for a little while. A few moments later this happened, with the kid on the back porch yelling at us through the open back door:

Kid: Daddy poopoo!

Dad: Do you need to poopoo? (clarifying because we’ve had some false alarms)

Kid: DADDY POOPOO!

Dad: Well, shit. (muttered under his breath)

Kid: Shit!

On the bright side, the kid is learning synonyms.

Parenthood = Panic

New parenthood = a lot panicking, in my view.

Exhibit A:
I sleep lightly, randomly waking up long enough to panic that one of us has forgotten to put the baby down before dozing off. In my half-awake state, I begin furiously pawing at any lumps in the blankets of our bed, at any forgotten burp cloths or swaddle blankets, etc., thinking each one is the baby. This continues until B snaps me out of it by reminding me that the baby is sleeping soundly in his bed next to ours. B and I also trade off so that on nights when I’m not the one doing this, he’s the one having night terrors about dozing off with the child in our bed.

Exhibit B:
Last night the kid gave us five solid, uninterrupted hours of sleep. Did I wake up feeling rested, refreshed, and happy? Not before taking a detour to Panicville first, since something *must* have been wrong in order for him to not have woken us up at his usual 2-3 hour intervals. As it turns out, perhaps he was just being nice to his mother after the events of the night prior. (see Exhibit C)

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